She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
