i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
