This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
