i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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