We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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