Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.