I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
