worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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