How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They took my balls.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
