she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
