Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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