i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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