wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
