And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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