It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Welp...herpes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i black out too much to be "responsible"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
