So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
