Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
