I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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