No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
