You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
