it's not cheating when I paid for it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
