So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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