I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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