Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
