Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.

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(360): View more from Washington

Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(307): View more from Wyoming

While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.

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(315): View more from New York

Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Like alphabetically I'd say a v

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(425): View more from Washington

I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.

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(936): View more from Texas

Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?

(713): View more from Texas

You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.

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