You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.