i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
zippers are such a cool invention
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture