are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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