You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
