She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
