It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
