What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
