Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
