I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
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Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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