that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
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he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
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think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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