4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
