it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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