have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
