He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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