Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
