i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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