i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
