some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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