Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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