it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
