If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
