I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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