i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
