Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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