I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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