Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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