I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
