Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
