remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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