She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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