HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
