A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
