Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
