that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
