Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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