so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
