it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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